Election time is rolling around again, and we’re definitely in the midst of the silly season as applied to political campaigns. Politicians on both sides are getting their last licks in before the vote. And it’s getting pretty heated out there on the political landscape. Too bad the hot air can’t warm up the environs where I live.
I went for my usual noon walk today and the temperature was a whopping 31 degrees, which wouldn’t be bad if it was Celsius, but we’re talking Fahrenheit in the good old U S of A. The wind was howling off Lake Michigan. And the wind chill was enough to give me a brain-freeze without the joy of gulping down a Dairy Queen Blizzard with Oreos, chocolate chips and chocolate frozen custard after a blisteringly hot bike ride. Like Chicago Cubs fans in the 1970s used to say, “There’s always next year.”
Two years on and some people never learn. John Kerry definitely tasted shoe leather the other day with his “botched joke.” Memo to the Senator: You were the perfect foil for Bush and the Republicans two years ago and you haven’t improved your delivery since then. You might want to get a little coaching on your public speaking. Perhaps you should join Toastmasters — or given your means, maybe you should hire a professional speech coach.
Whatever you do, for goodness sake man, lay low until you’ve “acquired” the gift of gab. You’re the equivalent of a softball lob to sluggers like Bush, Cheney and Rove. They seem to knock you out of the park every time. Take a vacation. Go for a bike ride. Just don’t hit the campaign trail any time soon. Want to hit a trail? Consider taking a mountain bike ride.
At least we can vote for our political leaders. And as long as you vote, then in my book you have every right to complain about the government we wind up with (assuming, of course, that you supported the losing side). If you don’t vote, then you get what you deserve. No complaining allowed. Next time, go to the polls.
Don’t you wish we could vote on the people who head up WADA, the UCI, the ProTour and the ASO? After all, if someone’s going to muck up the systsem, shouldn’t we get to vote on who it will be? Imagine the races: Dick Pound versus someone with integrity. Pat McQuaid versus Eddie B. Patrick Lefévère vs. Bjarne Riis. Christian Prudhomme vs. Paul Prudhomme.
My choices: Anyone with a smidgeon of integrity would be better than Dick Pound. Eddie B has forgotten more about professional cycling than Pat McQuaid will ever know (and Eddie B still knows more than McQuaid by a long shot). Bjarne Riis has way more class than Lefévère ever will. And Paul Prudhomme for ASO. As an added bonus this Prudhomme could do all the catering for the Tour.
The only scandal we’d have is if the kitchen ran out of etouffee or jambalaya before the riders were done chowing down after a hard day of racing. Or if the Cafe Du Monde cafe au lait (for those who can’t handle Peets) and beignets ran out at breakfast.
Doping scandals would be a thing of the past. No one attending the tour would even remember the Landis affair. They’d be too busy gorging themselves on all of Chef Paul Prudhomme’s cajun treats.
Blackened escargot, anyone?
