It was only a matter of time before some ad exec somewhere came up with the bright idea to use doping as a way to make a product cool. While flipping through a copy of the December 25/January 1 issue of The New Yorker, I ran across an ad with this headline:
Is your SUV doping?
I kid you not. Volkswagen’s ad agency put together this ad, with tongue planted (somewhat) firmly in cheek. It goes on:
The off-road racing world is investigating clains that the VW Touareg is employing potentially illegal engineering. The charts on this page can help you determine if your SUV is “doping.” If it is not a Touareg, chances are it is just average and you have no need to worry. The Touareg has tested positive for each of these and is suspected of using Off-Road German Technology, more commonly known on the street as OGT.
You can find it on page 59. Or, here’s a scan (warning for dial-up Internetters: 2.5 MB file). There’s a certain amount of humor to the ad, but my first reaction was, “Did they really say that?” It gets your attention, especially if you’ve been following the continuing saga of the doping scandals.
Of course, the message is that if it’s not a Touareg, it’s just your plain-old wimpy SUV. Try telling that to the Hummer driver as he climbs over your car during the next rush-hour traffic jam, Mr. Touareg. Or the guy barrelling past you in his Cayenne Turbo at autobahn-like speeds. (Of course, who really needs an SUV that can top 160 mph, anyway?)
Anyway, the ad cleared up all the confusion for me about Floyd Landis’ T/E ratio. It’s really the Touareg/Everything Else ratio, and it measures just how much like a Touareg your SUV is. Anything over 10:1 means it’s the genuine Touareg article. And apparently, by Floyd’s T/E numbers, we all saw a mere illusion of Floyd riding his bike solo to Morzine. Really he was riding in the air-conditioned comfort of a Saxon SUV (Touaregs are built in Leipzig, which is in Saxony). The answer to this whole misunderstanding is obvious: Floyd wasn’t doping. It was his SUV. 😉
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Memo to VW: When you turn this ad into a commercial, maybe you should get permission from The Tubes to adapt White Punks on Dope by rewriting the lyrics. Call it “Sport Utes on Dope,” instead.
I hope you enjoyed your holidays Rant. Back a few months ago, VW replaced its old agency with Crispin Porter. Crispin Porter has been known to push the envelope. I guess the Wall Street Journal was accurate.
Jim,
Crispin Porter definitely is pushing the envelope on this one. Heckuva way to get people’s attention. I’m wondering if it’ll sell any cars, though.
Then again, VW has always had a tendency towards ad campaigns that are quirky, attention-getting and successful. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out.
Holidays were good, just too darn short. Then again, this coming weekend is also a holiday weekend. I hope you’re enjoying the holidays, too.
– Rant
And I thought the Rabbit commercials were clever. But this SUV ad blows me away!
Just discovered your site and working through it. I immediately liked your reason for existing. Of course this is only the first post I’ve gotten to lol.
As a somewhat car guy one thing popped out about your Cayenne and Touareg comparison – their chassis/body happen to be built in the same plant in Bratislava, Czech Republic. That’s why they have such similar profiles. They each have unique components but they are sister vehicles. The Porsche components are mated with the body in Leipzig. Now the X5 with those big wide tires, that’s some SUV 🙂
It seems that VW is really trying to get the Touareg out there – check out this “towing a 747” bit (I don’t know if it’s pre-Cripin or not) – http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/vw-towing-a-747-216966.php
keep up the Rant
aki