Road Rage

With the Labor Day holiday weekend upon us, and people rushing here and there, road rage is perhaps something to be expected.

Last night, while driving home from work, I was waiting to make a right turn from a side street onto a major road not far from our home. I got there just as the light for the road I was on turned red. Six cars were waiting to go through the intersection on the major road. Two in the right lane and four in the left. I’m waiting because I need to be in the left lane to turn onto an even larger road in less than a block. Did I happen to mention this is a state where almost no one signals to make a turn?

A woman in a diarrhea-brown minivan pulled up behind me, and as I was waiting for traffic to clear, she starts honking her horn and screaming obscenities at me. “What the f*&! are you doing, a!@h)(*e!” And other pleasant terms of endearment. Some words you can understand, even if you’re not a trained lip-reader.

Let’s see: Hmmm. Waiting for traffic to clear?

In my mind, I was debating whether to:

1. Flip her off
2. Wave nicely and proceed when I was ready, or
3. Turn off my directional indicator and go straight, rather than make the turn onto the major road.

I can’t even remember how many times during training rides where someone would pull up to a group I was in and then pass us while making crude, rude comments or flip us off. We would just smile and wave, which of course, just makes those kind of people madder.

Guess which option I chose? The second one, of course.

The story doesn’t end there. The lady (I’ll be polite) tries to swing in front of me from the right lane, but can’t do it as there’s no room. So she slams on the brakes (almost causing the car behind her to rear-end her), pulls in behind me, and then swings into the other left turn lane (there’s two lanes turning left and two going straight at that point), and then proceeds to weave in and out and in and out of traffic, almost causing several more accidents.

As I turned onto my street, I saw her turn left into a health club less than a quarter-mile up the road, damn-near causing yet another accident.

Somewhere out there a cardiologist is 15 seconds closer to having a new patient … and it won’t be me.

So that’s my long-winded way of saying slow down and take it easy this weekend. Holidays are for relaxing, not getting stressed out.

Footnote: I have to admit though, that just as I had finished waving to the lady before making that initial turn, I couldn’t resist and I gave her the English gesture for “Up yours, you stupid cow.” I probably should have just waited and not turned. Oh well, next time.