The Rundown

I just got done reading an interesting article from the December issue of Runner’s World, one which offers some interesting parallels to the cycling world. But before I get to that, a few comments on what’s been happening in the world of cycling lately. Although I’m late to the party on a few of these stories, I can’t resist making a comment or two.

Johan Bruyneel got a two-month suspension for his role in Jersey-Gate? Whoa! Perish the thought! And it took how long to come up with that decision? What about a certain other person who was part of the whole “event within an event” on the last day of the 2010 Tour? The guy behind those ubiquitous yellow bands/bracelets? Did I miss it, or did he escape by paying a fine (to charity, of course) as the UCI originally settled the matter.

The UCI, after endless testing (yes, Virginia, they really did test the “C” and “D” samples), finally got around to reaching a conclusion about Alberto “Pretty Boy” Contador and whether he sucked down a fist-full of clenbuterol. Wow. Color me underwhelmed. Of course, the UCI is asking the Spanish Cycling Federation to begin disciplinary proceedings against the (for now, anyway) three-time Tour winner.

And between the lines, I’m sure the UCI let it be known that if the “right” conclusion isn’t reached, they’ll take matters to a higher power. With the blessings of the World Anti-Doping Agency, no doubt. Contador, if he still harbors the fantasy that he will be racing anytime in 2011, ought to take heed of another story that surfaced in the last few days. Susie B … er … “Show Me The Money Landis” … reports that a Mexican synchronized swimmer recently received a one-year ban after testing positive for … say it with me now … clenbuterol.

In a country where some accounts suggest that around 20 percent of all beef is contaminated with the drug, a synchronized swimmer can’t catch a break. I’m not exactly a knowledgeable fan of the sport, but I suppose one can argue that a slender appearance might be an (ahem) asset. Still, it doesn’t bode well for the pint-sized pistolero, I’d hazard a guess. (And while we’re on the subject, given there’s a sport called “synchronized swimming,” I’m wondering what exactly “unsynchronized swimming” would look like. Not a pleasant picture, I’d venture.)

OK, so back to what I was reading just a bit ago. The December 2010 issue of Runner’s World has this teaser on their cover: The Doper Comes Clean. Inside is a lo-o-o-o-o-n-g and fascinating article about Eddy Hellebuyck, the first American marathoner to test positive for EPO. Hellebuyck failed a test in 2004, while trying to earn a spot on the US Olympic team. [Tip o’ the hat to my wife, who pointed me to the Hellebuyck story.]

There’s an interesting cast of characters in this saga. The main character is Hellebuyck, a Belgian professional distance runner who became an American citizen back in the mid-1990s. There’s a shady doctor. Talk of a brotherhood (and/or sisterhood) of silence. Howard Jacobs, who represented Floyd Landis once upon a time, makes an appearance.

Familiar storylines appear. And there’s a plethora of precious quotes. Hellebuyck’s wife, Shawn, early in the article, goes on a tirade about how her husband didn’t do what he was accused of, reaching a crescendo when she asks:

Do you know what kind of story I’d love to read? Not some tired old story about what happened 10 years ago, but one about an honest athlete trying to redeem himself after a false doping violation.

Yeah, wouldn’t we all. Unfortunately, there’s none too few stories about dopers who deny up one wall and down the other that they’re clean — only to `fess up at some later date that no, they really weren’t. Kind of casts a pall on those who come afterwards. Guilty or not. Back to the article: A few paragraphs later (and only moments after she left the restaurant where the initial interview occurred), there’s this:

[S]uddenly the conversation shifts when I finally ask Eddy if, in fact, he doped.

“Do you think I did?” he asks me.

“I don’t know,” I reply. “I don’t know you. All I know is what I’ve read and heard.”

Hellebuyck hesitates. He no longer looks like a man at home in the world.

“Yeah,” he says, “I did it.”

Hellebuyck’s wife wasn’t too thrilled that he confessed his sins to a reporter. Months later, after Shawn comes to terms (somewhat) with Eddy’s coming clean, she makes this point to the reporter:

“I’m not saying that Eddy didn’t make a stupid, terrible mistake,” Shawn continues. “But I think it’s important to point out that he is hardly the only American runner of his caliber to use drugs. [Eddy] got caught because he wasn’t part of a well-organized, well-financed, medically supervised system. He was just an individual athlete who decided to dabble and paid the price. The fact is, EPO really works when it’s used in combination with HGH [human growth hormone] and other drugs over a closely monitored three-month training cycle, and that takes money. The athletes who have the money and power are the ones who are getting away with murder on this stuff. That’s who you should be writing a story about.”

Sound familiar? Change the word runner to cyclist and it could fit another high profile story right now, couldn’t it? Eddy Hellebuyck provides the final quote of the article:

“Look,” he says, “I made an awful mistake. I was tempted. With EPO it’s like you’re on the beach and a beautiful girl comes up to you. You start talking to her. You realize if you go home with her, you’re going to have one terrific night, but you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

Gotta watch out for that temptation thing. It can have all sorts of unpleasant side effects. Take the time to give the article a read, even if that means slogging through it over multiple sessions. It’s an interesting read, to say the least.

This just in…

While watching a recording of the most recent Daily Show, I saw that last night’s guest was none other than Marion Jones. Here’s her interview with Jon Stewart.