The Tour is a metaphor for life.
— Johan Bruyneel, We Might As Well Win
Indeed, I think Johan Bruyneel is onto something here. The Tour is a metaphor for life. It’s filled with all the triumphs and heartache, tragedy, politics, avarice and vice that one can imagine. Sometimes a cyclist who should do well falls prey to bad breaks, and sometimes someone who wouldn’t normally succeed catches a lucky break that propels him into the spotlight. Of course, once you’re in the spotlight (or in the Tour’s case the maillot jaune) you have to work hard to stay there. And only those with the innate ability or a tremendous amount of good luck can hang on for dear life until the bitter end.
And, of course, today the latest edition of the Grande (de)Boucle began without the traditional prologue. Instead, there was a road race from Brest to Plumelec. Today’s stage had the usual nervousness of a first road stage for the Tour de France, complete with crashes and a rider whose hopes were dashed. Herve Duclos-Lassalle crashed out of the Tour, suffering a broken wrist after touching wheels with another rider near a feed zone. Duclos-Lassalle’s race ended a mere two hours after it began. And so, there are only 179 riders left in contention for the top prize.
“Our team’s policy [note: US Postal/Discovery] was iron-clad: any rider who tested positive or confessed to using performance enhancing drugs would be off the team…”
And this year, any rider who tests positive during the Tour is going to face not only disciplinary action from the AFLD and the FFC, as well as near-certain ejection from his team, he will also be assessed a €100,000 (about $156,000 USD) fine by the ASO. Now, no one has tested positive — yet. But given the history, what’s the odds that by the time the greatest race in cycling lands in Paris three weeks hence, at least one doping “positive” will have occurred?
For one thing, whether you thought doping got so much attention because it had become a pandemic, or a witch-hunt, or (like most of us) something in between, there was no arguing that the entire situation — from the actual cheating itself to the policing and penalizing and publicizing of it — felt wildly out of control.
And, of course, this brave new world that is the 2008 Tour de France is due, in part, to the ASO’s belief that the policies they’re pursuing will help bring things back into control. Or at least keep situations that could cast aspersions on the good name of Le Tour at bay. Perhaps they will. Or, perhaps it’s all just window dressing to make it look like something is being done. We shall see.
Anyway, back to the Tour. I did manage to watch a few video clips on the web, and thanks to the wonders of modern techno-gizmos, watch this morning’s coverage, recorded on a DVR. Well, I fast-forwarded through most of it, stopping to see a few things along the way, and then getting to the real meat of the story. Who was going to take that first stage victory? The breakaway group, having baked in the sun for about 4 hours, was well and truly cooked, despite two of the escapees making a mad dash to prolong their agony. Not worth it, guys. There’s something like 20 days of racing left.
In the end, it was a drag race to the finish. Kim Kirchen launched a blistering attack, but way too far from the finish. Even with the gap he built up, the question on my mind wasn’t “Is he gonna win?” it was “When’s the winner gonna blow right past him like a freight train?”
Rounding that last curve before the end, the answer came. Roughly now. And in the form of one Alejandro Valverde. I don’t know what kind of rocket fuel Valverde consumes, but he bridged the gap between the rest of the pack and Kirchen amazingly fast, and then roared past the poor Luxembourger like he was standing still. Like a certain Joe Namath boasting that his team would win Super Bowl III, Valverde had predicted he’d win the race. And like Broadway Joe, he and his team delivered.
But now, the real work for Valverde and Caisse D’Epargne begins. Can they hold onto the yellow jersey (the golden fleece as Paul Sherwen calls it) for the next three weeks? That’s a tall order. And if they do, it’s likely to take a brutal toll on Valverde’s supporting riders, including one Oscar Pereiro. Or, will they give the golden fleece away, and try to take it back later, after other teams have had their moments of glory and after Caisse D’Espargne has had the chance to chill in the hot summer sun?
The Tour is wide open, and it will be interesting to see how things play out. For Valverde and company, they’ll need to avoid any unlucky breaks from now until July 27th. But come tomorrow, they will be defending the yellow jersey. Are they up to the challenge? Can Valverde improve upon his finish in the 2007 edition. And what of the other contenders? Are they laying low, waiting for the right moment to make their moves? (I suspect so.)
There’s a lot more drama, triumph and heartbreak to come, that’s for certain. Whoever stands on the top step of the podium in Paris three weeks from now will have earned it, if for no other reason that merely surviving “Ordeal by Tour de France.
One thing about the Tour, it’s unpredictable, just like many things in our lives.
You never know which moment of success will be the one that ends up changing your life, so they’re all worth fighting for. From the smallest victory at home to the most public triumph, every win of your life might be the one that really ends up meaning something, that transforms you from simply the winner of the moment into that rarest thing of all: a true winner.
And one never knows what moment in the Tour could be that life changing moment, too. Stay tuned. We’re in for a wild ride along the roads of France.
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To get an insight into how one directeur sportif approached his job, pick up a copy of Bruyneel’s book. Bill Strickland, Bruyneel’s “ghost writer” has done a very good job of capturing Bruyneel’s voice. Having heard him speak recently, I was pleasantly surprised by how well Johan Bruyneel’s personality comes through in the book. The man is an innovator (in more ways than one, according to some opinions). His approach to training and focusing specifically on the Tour has changed how many teams and riders prepare for the biggest happening in all of cycling.
And, mixed in with all of the anecdotes about cycling are Bruyneel’s thoughts on life in general. I could see this book as one that corporate types might use as a case study in how to succeed in business. But the fact that it’s about what is basically a niche sport in the US leads me to believe that most of the people who buy the book here will already know a lot about the sport. No matter. Even so, it gives some insights into how the winningest directeur sportif in the history of the Tour approached his job.
It’s an easy read — a book that could help pass the time on vacation. You can easily read a bit here and a bit there and finish its 206 pages well in advance of the laps of the Champs-Élysées on the 27th.
My memory is not what it used to be, wasn’t Valverde involved in some drug-related situation last year? Or am I confusing him with someone else?
I can’t decide if I like Valverde or not. Maybe it’s just that I feel luke-warm about him. And I’m expecting the OP thing to raise it’s ugly head. Maybe not, surely it’s like a dead horse by now. But, I will say, that Valverde makes too much money!! I read an article in Velo News last year, the guy makes tons of money!!!
Maybe that’s my problem. Floyd’s spent all his, and he never had THAT much. And he ‘s a much bigger talent. IMHO
First off, I am boycotting the Tour de France. To counter the endless diaries that riders write about the Tour, I am publishing an informal diary of my boycott over at TBV. I have to say, while the boycott is really just getting started, it’s been very exciting so far, full of twists, turns and surprises. While I’ve boycotted other cycling events before, nothing really prepares you for a boycott of a race as prestigious as the Tour de France!
Regarding Valverde. Valverde is one of the few prestigious cyclists not to join my boycott. So far, I have a number of the top riders boycotting the Tour, including last year’s champion Alberto Contador, and this year’s winner of the Tour of California, Levi Leipheimer. Tom Boonen joined my boycott at the last minute, quite a coup for me! All of these riders (and more!) have agreed NOT to officially acknowledge the boycott, as this would tend to indicate that there’s actually a race going on. Obviously, there’s no race going on, all you have to do is to consult the UCI calendar to see that!
So. The most important thing to know about Valverde is that he’s a maverick top rider who is not boycotting this year’s Tour, not yet at least. Theresa, you may be thinking of the UCI’s effort to ban Valverde from last year’s UCI Road World Championships because of his possible implication in the Operación Puerto doping investigation. The Spanish Cycling Federation (RFEC) refused to open disciplinary proceedings against Valverde and included him in its squad for the World Championships. Ultimately, the CAS sided with Valverde.
The unsuccessful actions taken by UCI against Valverde have had a major impact on world cycling. For one thing, Valverde is unlikely to base his 2008 racing schedule on the UCI calendar, which may prove to be a setback for my boycott.
Larry,
THAT is hilarious – you be da man!
I have also decided to boycott the TdeF – but my wife keeps finding ways to get her mitts on the remote and she is a great fan of pro cycling – It is only the 3rd day of competition and I am getting pretty fed up with comments coming from her like “its like watching white bread raise” – now, I’m not certain what this means – but the tone of her voice indicates disgruntlement.
Of the few times I did catch a glimpse of the peleton – my thoughts kept asking – “why are they riding?” I can’t help it – I keep thinking – “Run of the Lemming II” Sad – really, co-dependence is an ugly picture when you get a glimpse of it.
Rant,
Thanks for the synopsis of JB’s book – but I’m going to boycott reading it – since it reveals nothing of the mechanations within the system. I think it is a sign of intelligence that JB makes no real comment about the state of pro-cycling – other then speaking allegorically and in broad stroke generalizations – and reading your synopsis was satisfying enough.
Thanks Larry for refreshing my memory about Valverde. Whether this OP business will raise its head again remains to be seen. If he is in jaune during the second week, I’d predict that they will dither about it for a week, before they suddenly recall his involvement in OP, and then kick him out. No, wait, they already used that tactic.
Larry,
I understand that there are a number of pro riders clamoring to get on board your boycott, too, but for obvious reasons, they’re unable to publicly declare their participation. Or, they speak in coded language like, “Watch the Tour and give the riders the respect they deserve … but fast forward through the talking heads (sorry Phil, Paul and Mr. Byrne) and the commercials.” Don’t enter that sweepstakes, either. 😉
But for some of us, it’s like watching a slow moving train wreck. Or like watching the Indy 500. (As I know from having been there, a number of the bleacher creatures are not interested in the racing at all, they’re interested in the crashes and how spectacular they are.)
For me, it’s like an addiction — like drinking Peets coffee. I can quit any time I want. Really … 😉
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Hi, my name is Rant, and I’m a Peets-aholic… 🙂
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Morgan,
There’s some good anecdotes about Lance and the Tour, and even stories from Bruyneel’s pre-LA past, too. Some are quite moving, and some are hilarious, and some just illustrate cycling tactics that played out extremely well. Like the art of the bluff. If you find a copy in a bookstore, find that particular section of the book. It’ll take you all of about 10 minutes to read.
William,
Yes, it will be interesting to see if OP amnesia clears right about the time that Valverde is in a spot to clinch the race. Of course, I’m wondering when someone will test positive and what kind of ruckus that will cause. Of course, if no one tests positive, does that mean no one was doping, the fix was in (gotta protect the Tour’s reputation, don’cha know) or … ?
Theresa,
I’m not sure who to root for (or if it’s worth the bother rooting for anyone in particular this year). Valverde? Evans? Menchov? Someone’s gotta win. I just hope whoever steps up onto the podium in Paris on the 27th doesn’t fall victim to the taint that’s affected our sport for the last few years.
Through mid-level intermediaries, ASO has been begging me to return to the fold and to abandon Larry’s boycott. So far they have offered me a 21-day supply of Amgen “stock,” and a free class in misfit management at the LNDD.
I am holding out for a better offer. I want the Valverde/Evans offer (get rid of all the other good riders so that I can make the podium). Oh, and I’d love a supply of Camembert cheese. That stuff is great.
Alas, I have yet to hear back.
Larry and Michael, etc., close your eyes!
I see a French rider now is wearing the yellow jersey. LNDD, or whatever they call themselves now, should quickly DQ the rest of the peleton, thus ensuring a French victory.
As was once said, “Victory through chemistry”. It can work 2 ways.
William, “LA, LA, LA, LA, LA” (sound of Larry singing loudly, with fingers in both ears)
Michael, way to be! High five. Fist bump. You’re doing exactly what I’m doing, which is preparing your list of non-negotiable demands for ending the boycott. I’d be offended by the fact that there’s nothing in your demands for me, if not for the fact that there’s nothing in my set of demands that I was planning to share with you.
This boycott is truly an “every man or woman for himself or herself” proposition, and in that way mirrors the state of the sport we’re boycotting.
It turns out that nothing, nothing really prepares you for the enormity of boycotting an event as important as the Tour de France. You may THINK that you’ve trained adequately, that you’re at the peak of your ability to sleep in and tune out, but once the big moment arrives, and you’re sitting in front of your blank TV with nothing but Rob Schneider movies on basic cable — the awesome nature of the task ahead hits you between the eyes. It’s a qualitative life-altering moment that is hard to describe, and you’re forced to think of the greats that have come before you — the media outlets, the many potential sponsors, the vast majority of the American people — who are able to boycott the Tour and make it look easy.
How do they do it? I guess that there’s no substitute for experience.
I’m not proud to admit what I’m about to admit, but the thought of using performance-enhancing drugs HAS crossed my mind.
I KNOW that a little bit of Nyquil PM would probably make it easier to sleep past the finish of each day’s stage. A toke or two of marijuana, and the operation of my TV remote control would be like rocket scientry.
It’s tempting. But I’m deterred by the thought of WADA. If they catch me doping, I’ll be barred from boycotting for a two year period (or is it four years? When the Tour is over, I’ll be able to go back on line and find out). And I know from everything we’ve learned here, that the chances of my failing an ADA doping test during my boycott are every bit as good as that of many of the riders in the Tour, especially the French riders.
So I’m determined not only to win this boycott, but to win it clean.
I don’t know, Larry. Such performance might be “superhuman”. I can just visualize you sitting in your easy chair, avoiding the Tour like you were on a Harley.
I can probably find a bottle around here with some liquid in it. Then I can whiteout the label, and write on it “Larry’s pee”. Then I’ll get a dowsing stick and dowse it to reveal the presence of some PED. Nowhere have I seen it even suggested that there is anything in the WADA rules that prohibits dowsing. Even if there is, well, it’s just an honest inadequacy, or maybe a procedural error. Heck, it could even be bad lab practice. All of these have now been certified as being quite OK.
So, Larry, be warned! You might be toast!
William, I was going to respond in kind … but your last post was too funny.
Now I’m going to add a Harley to my list of boycott demands. But being married, I think I’ll avoid any other imagery from Dick Pound.
Once ASO cracks and caves in:
Cheese, baby. I’d share the cheese. You ride your new hog here to New York, I’d even supply the crackers. No charge. Then we could get down, hook up some IVs, and watch some TDF on my brother’s DVR (of course being part of the boycot, mine is not recording).
Forget the Nyquil PM. I mix that in my coffee in the morning. If I could find a drug that would allow me to process more information, to think faster, and more efficiently – I am not ashamed to admit I would take it now. Performance enhancing? Damn right. Unfair? So what. Thankfully they don’t test in my profession. We’d all fail.
I didn’t know your marital status, Larry, but I purposely left the second half of the Poundianism off. I do have some sense of decency!
Day 4 of the boycott is underway!
Michael and I are already planning our celebration for after we win our boycott of this year’s Tour de France. Our plan is to meet in New York City, one of the least bicycle friendly towns on earth, and compare what we each were able to extract from the ASO in order to cause us to end our boycott. Then, in the true spirit of pro cycling, we will refuse to share any of our winnings, come to blows over who did better than whom, and call separate press conferences.
Call it a crazy dream if you like. But as a great man once said, why not win?
In the meantime, the boycott goes on. I’m sure that from the outside, it must seem awfully glamorous, but the truth behind a successful boycott is that it’s a matter of detailed planning and organization. Nothing can be left to chance. Take as an example the matter of nutrition.
Nutrition (formerly known as eating) during the course of a three week boycott is critical to success. The most important thing to avoid is the dreaded “bonk”. When you bonk, your legs get rubbery and your mind loses focus. What if you bonk in the neighborhood of a sports bar? Your 2008 Tour boycott could be over in a hurry!
The key thing to remember is that in a boycott, you’re not actually doing anything, so your caloric needs are very low. You need to concentrate the few available calories on foods that will help your boycott performance abilities. Avoid finger foods, munchies and other items you’d normally eat in front of a TV set, or that leave a free hand for web browsing. Try instead to eat foods that require your full concentration to consume. For example, picking and eating wild berries requires a lot of concentration, especially if the berry bush is thorny and there are wild bears in the vicinity.
Hydration (formerly known as drinking) is an absolute must. The more you drink, the more you pee, the more time you spend in the bathroom. Unless you live in the Silicon Valley or work for Google, you probably have no way to access the internet in your bathroom, so that’s a safe zone. Also, urination is a reminder that during the 375,682 hours of cycling broadcast to date on Versus, not once has the network ever shown a bathroom break. What’s up with that? I’m not asking for anything graphic — but how about a shot of a bicycle lying by the side of the road and the sound of bushes rustling?
(I don’t want to get obsessed with this topic, but what do these guys do on the last day of the Tour? They’re riding up and down the Champs Elysees for like seven straight hours, and there are FOUNTAINS spraying water on each end. It’s gotta be torture. Maybe the stores along the route are understanding, but do you think that stores like Prada and Hermes waive the rule that you have to be a customer to use their facilities? I’d think that the cyclists’ wives would fight to see those rules kept in effect!)
Items to avoid: sports drinks, Gerolstiner, wagon wheel pasta, giro sandwiches, draft beer and domestique wine.
If you watch closely, too closely really, you will discover that they show a wee-wee break during every Tour at some point. You can count on the DVDs to include this compelling footage all the time. What happens is that your brain doesn’t realize what your eyes are seeing (a guy riding somewhat twisted to the side, with a teammate alongside – sometimes – holding the back of his saddle).
Regarding nutrition, here is my feeding plan for a 100-mile ride or 3-hours of televised Tour coverage (these activities burn approximately the same number of calories – if you use the WADA 20% margin for error):
-Breakfast: (one hour before ride or broadcast time): 1 Glazed doughnut (chocolate preferred), 1 fruit filled sugarcoated doughnut, and 1 crème doughnut. Wash this down with a pint and a half of industrial strength coffee
-During the ride, mile sixty: 1 can of coke (Go for the real thing, not the decaffeinated, de-sugared, and otherwise emasculated varieties that have been invented to appeal to a misguided public), 1 Hostess apple pie (make sure you get the 500-calorie glazed gut-bomb).
– During the ride, mile eighty: Same as mile sixty
– After the ride: Anything in sight as long as it is not self-propelled, nacho cheese or ranch flavored Doritos (12-ounce party bag) or four Taco Bell Chalupas. This must be washed down with heavy beer (this is not optional).
The choice of doughnuts is especially important to impart a performance edge. I prefer to start with the chocolate glazed doughnut. This provides a good mix of complex carbs, sugar, and grease to get you going in the initial phases of a long ride. Next, an apple or lemon filled doughnut pays lip service to the fruit family, while providing the sugar and grease stores for the middle part of the ride. Finally, a Boston or Bavarian crème doughnut lays in your stomach like a time release capsule to fuel you on in the later stages of the ride. Muffins are more politically correct, but are sorely lacking in important nutrients, namely grease.
And regarding the friendliness of New York to cyclists, we just need to be about 35-miles north of the city to hit some seriously Flandrianesque roads. Ride around here in the March freezing rain and you’ll be as tough as any guy racing up the Kemmelberg. Not as fast. But. . .
(Michael, what the … !!!)
For all you little boycotters reading these posts at home, I strongly advise you NOT to imitate the nutrition regimen of an experienced boycotter like Michael. Stick to the food pyramid, and plenty of green veggies and fresh water. Michael is a professional and has needs (caloric needs and apparently, other needs) that require an, er, specialty diet.
I think that they have put donuts on the list of banned substances. And of course, coke is too. But only during competition. But you guys sound pretty competitive to me.
I am torn! I am in shreds – Decisions – decisions! – I have to say – both Larry and Michael present very persuasive and might I add – well detailed “boycott strategy!”
To be completely frank and honest – my wild side is leaning towards Michael’s “methodology” – I say leaning because my coronary arteries seem to have developed a taste for the more refined technique that Larry presents – so there you have it. Who would have thought that “boycotting the TdeF” would bring on such “conflicting desires” in this mere mortal?
Now on the other hand – I may just completely ignore my coronary arteries – since they seem to be ignoring my needs and try both strategies! I’m thinking here along the lines of adding extra pressure on the TdeF powers that be – something like a combination of fasting for the first half of the tour and then switching over to Michaels methodology and see what happens? I’m thinking – – this would be a sure fire way of forcing the issue with the entire country of France. You know – be so determined that my arteries do have a good chance of blowing – that should show them just how serious I am about my boycott!
On the other matter of Larry and Michael meeting in NYC riding Harley’s – I am envious! If both these guys do this – they trump my feeble attempt at emotional blackmail – I know – Does anybody know if Gino’s Pizza delivers in Austria?
Guys – keep up the good work – stay on line and keep your focus – a lot is riding on your efforts. And – since you have made this a “public boycott” – you do share some responsibility in the eventual outcome, but – don’t get too stressed – this is just part of “public boycotting” – don’t worry about us “little peoples” – we have learned to cope. If nothing else.
Morgan, your strategy of “completely ignoring” is what a boycott is all about.